I pretty much lead a double life. Working at a mine as i do out in the middle of no where. Unless you've known me from the way back then most people have a hard time envisioning my trailer park life and all the people i work with have a hard time envisioning me having and extensive shoe collection that does not include flats. Just cuz a girl can dress and knows which fork to eat with doesn't mean that she doesn't also enjoy driving a forklift and mixing it up with miners. For instance today i heard this gem "It doesn't smell like dick anymore?" (Pause for comedic effect) Now that is just a funny question/statement on it's own. But when the context is two mechanics discussing the breath of one mechanic who just quit chewing (smokeless tobacco, for those of you who are reading this blog and don't know anything about small redneck towns) it is down right bladder release inducing.
And since it is impossible for anyone to look hot in a hardhat and safety glasses, i don't even bother with putting on makeup or doing my hair when i work. So basically if i ever got dressed for real and had full hair and makeup done, people would be reintroducing themselves to me and I'd be like "Ya I know we work together everyday Bob." Which would be met with incredulity. And if you know me in my real life you would not recognize me in my steel toes, hard hat (covering my gorgeous red hair), and safety glasses (disguising my shimmering green eyes). All of this adding up to the fact that I would be a perfect spy and should be leading my dream life as you read. To bad Farsi was not offered at my highschool and I'm as white as an infidel whore. But if they ever needed any behind the lines recon in Ireland, I would have no problem penetrating the IRA. Pictures to follow.
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